I asked her how she knew when a ‘small rock’ story was still weighing her down. She said…
My body tells me. I get an ‘icky’ feeling in my body when I think of some memories. That’s when I know there is something for me to examine, write about, and release.
Her eloquent wisdom got me thinking . . .
Isn’t that what we all want? To feel better?
We change our diets, try different forms of exercise, meet with therapists, take medication, meditate and pray – all because we want to feel better about the lives we’ve lived and the lives we’ve touched.
Every one of us has moments from our past that need to be healed. And most of us have worked on those big rocks in therapy or contemplation or prayer and come to some level of peace with them.
But it’s those smaller rocks that remain hidden at the bottom of the jar, buried, as we’ve tried to forget them or given up trying to make sense of them. Yet, they continue to impact us anyway, through our moods, our interactions with others, our health, our sense of self-worth and sense of wellbeing.
We have extraordinary moments from our past that deserve to be celebrated. Times when we achieved, succeeded, and were courageous and bold even and especially in facing adversity. Many of us allow these happy memories to exist undeservedly as small rocks. Our memories of empowered and happy times remain overshadowed by the big rock memories and cause us to feel shame, guilt and regret.